Wednesday, May 9, 2012

The Mayonnaise Jar


The Mayonnaise Jar 

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day is not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and two cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and fills it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. 

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured it into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. 

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. 

He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “YES”. 

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed. 

“Now,” said the professor, as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - God, family,
children, health, friends, and favorite passions. Things, that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the things that matter like your job, house, and car. The sand is everything else -- the small stuff.” he said.

“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “There is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are
important to you...” he told them.

“So... pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Worship with your family. Play with your children. Take your partner out to dinner. Spend time with good friends. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the dripping tap. Take care of the golf balls first -- the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. 

The professor smiled and said, “I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.”

Please share this with other "Golf Balls"

Smart Filipino Boy




A Filipino boy was very sad in class.

The teacher asked, “KULITS what is your problem?”

KULITS answered, “I’m too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I’m smarter than she is!
I think I should be in the third-grade too!”

Teacher had enough. She took KULITS to the principal’s office.
While KULITS waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his
questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.
She agreed.

KULITS was brought in and the conditions were explained
to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: What is 3 x 3?

KULITS: 9, maam!

Principal: What is 6 x 6?

KULITS: 36, maam!

And so it went with every question the principal
thought a third-grade should know.
The principal looks at teacher and tells her,
“I think KULITS can go to the third-grade. ”

Teacher says to the principal, “I have some of my
own questions. Can I ask him ?”

The principal and KULITS both agreed.

Teacher asks: What does a cow have four of that I
have only two of?

KULITS: Legs, maam!

Teacher : What is in your pants that you have but I
do not have?

KULITS: Pockets!

Teacher: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is
hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

KULITS: Coconut!

Teacher: What goes in hard and pink then comes out
soft And sticky?

(The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he
could stop the answer, KULITS. was taking charge...)

KULITS: Bubblegum, maam!

Teacher: What does a man do standing up, a woman
does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?

(The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he
could stop the answer…)

KULITS: Shake hands!

Teacher: Now I will ask some “Who am I” sort of
questions, okay?
KULITS: Yep!

Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me
down to get me up. I get wet before you do.

KULITS: Tent

Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me
when you’re bored. The
best man always has me first.

KULITS: Wedding Ring, maam!

Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I’m not well, I
drip. When you blow me, you feel good.

KULITS: Nose!

Teacher: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I
come with a quiver. What is it?

KULITS: Arrow!

Teacher: What word starts with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’
that means lot of heat and excitement?

KULITS: Firetruck!

Teacher: What word starts with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’
& if u don’t get it, u have to use ur hand.

KULITS: Fork!

Teacher: What is it that all men have one. It’s
longer on some men, than on others,
the pope doesn’t use his and a man gives it to his
wife after they’re married?

KULITS: SURNAME!

Teacher: What part of the man has no bone but has
muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible
for making love ?

KULITS: HEART, maam!

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to
the teacher :

Principal: Huh! send this Boy to Harvard University!!! Even I got
the last ten questions wrong myself! :D

Monday, May 7, 2012

Last Words


One day a girl, Sara, who was fifteen years old, came home from school in a very bad mood. She'd had a fight with her best friend that day and it hadn't turned out well at all.
"Sara!" her mom yelled. "What are you doing? You know to do your chores right when you get home! And you're late!"
"Coming, Mom!" Sara yelled, getting up and stomping towards the kitchen. "What?" she snapped as her mother gave her a stern look, annoyed.
"You'd better straighten up your attitude, young lady," her mom warned, "or you'll be grounded."
"Whatever." Sara began to throw around the dishes in the sink, trying to make as much noise as she possibly could. A plate cracked and cut her hand. Sara cursed.
"Sara!" her mom exclaimed. "How dare you use that language! Go to your room!"
"No!" Sara yelled, throwing down the towel she was using to wipe the blood off her hand. 
"Do you want to say 'no' one more time and see what happens?" her mom asked. She looked furious.
"Sure," Sara said sarcastically. "No."
"How dare you!" Her mother slapped her.
Sara shrank back, staring incredulously at her mom. She had never hit Sara before. 
"I HATE YOU!" Sara screamed before running out of the house.
"Sara, get back here!" her mom yelled, running after her.
"Leave me alone!" Sara screamed, running across the street. "I HATE YOU!" she screamed again. 
She continued running until she heard the sound of screeching tires and a scream. She turned around, hoping that it wouldn't be what she thought it would be....
People were crowding around Sara's mother, who was laying in the middle of the street, looking broken, bloody.
"NOOOO!" Sara screamed, running over and pushing through everyone to kneel by her mom. "Oh no, oh no...."
Her mom wasn't moving or breathing. She was gone. Sara tipped back her head and wailed to the sky, sobbing so hard it hurt.
She couldn't believe the last words she had spoken to her mother were "I hate you".

To everyone out there who tells your parents or friends you hate them, or any other rude thing, remember it might be the last thing you ever say to them.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

The Man Who Achieved Everything He Could


By Yuri Alkin

They say that once upon a time, there lived a man who wanted to achieve everything he was capable of achieving. He was obsessed with this desire. He ate, slept, and walked with one and only dream: to die, having accomplished every single thing he was able to accomplish. There were so many things he could do. He felt like the whole world could be his, if he only set his mind to it. At times, he was even horrified by the powers hiding in his mind and heart. He was certain-in fact-he knew that his potential had no limits. He knew that he could accumulate power that would dwarf the power of ancient kings; he knew that he could write books that would shake the minds of generations to come; he knew that he could invent things that would forever change the lives of millions of people. He lived, constantly feeling the power within-and that power knew no bounds.

There was only one obstacle: having such a potential, but only one life, he had to make a choice. He had to decide where to apply all of his enormous abilities. Making that decision was extremely hard, for any choice meant cutting off some future achievements. And so in the meantime, he went to school, graduated, found a respectable well-paid job, married, and bred children. And he spent every minute of his spare time trying to decide where he should apply all his might. Even though he was not interested in applying it to his work, his power was impossible to hide. He was successful in everything he touched, and he earned great respect of the people who worked with him. And all the while, he thought to himself: Imagine what I would achieve once I concentrate entirely on the area of my choice.

Time went by, and he grew older. Some roads he used to dream about became closed to him. But there was still so much he could accomplish. And he kept thinking hard while working, raising children, dealing with everyday problems, and knowing that his potential had no limits. And most people who knew him were of the same opinion, for it was impossible not to realize this, being around him for a while.

One day, a sudden chest pain made him come home early. He dragged his feet to the bathroom. There, feeling weak and empty, he looked in the mirror. A worn-out, gray-haired man stared back at him. But his eyes, though red and tired, were still full of unrealized potential. He peered into these eyes and, all of a sudden, realized one simple truth. The next moment, the pain pierced his heart again, and it stopped beating forever.

Everybody cried, even those who knew him only slightly. The pain of this loss was staggering. Not only had he been a good man but they also knew what great potential had died with him. True, he had spent his life trying to make the choice, but imagine what would've happened had he made it. After all, he was so close to making it, and he hadn't been that old. He could not have had this feeling of unlimited potential for nothing. His potential was truly unlimited. The choice was about to be made, and very soon he could have achieved anything. His life could have become a shining monument, which would have forever inspired future generations. What a loss! What a tragedy! They cried and cried and cried. And they didn't know what he had realized the moment before he died.

The truth that came upon him was rather simple. People only flatter themselves by thinking that they could have achieved this or that if not for such-and-such circumstances. Yet this is nothing but delusion. At any given moment, as long as you've been healthy and haven't been thrown into the midst of war, crime or forces of nature, you always achieve everything you can. You simply lack something that is necessary for achieving that goal you've never reached-a talent, a skill, willpower, a set of priorities, or something else. Like it or not, realize it or not, believe it or not, but you simply lack it. You just think you've got what it takes, and only these insurmountable difficulties have prevented you from reaching the ultimate heights. But in reality, what you don't achieve is something you're not capable of achieving.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Puppies for Sale - A Short Story

A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell. He painted a sign advertising the pups and set about Nailing it to a post on the edge of his yard. As he was driving the last nail into the post, he Felt a tug on his overalls. He looked down into the Eyes of a little boy. 

Mister," he said, "I want to buy one of your puppies." 
"Well," said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat off the back of his neck, "these puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money." 
The boy dropped his head for a moment. Then reaching deep into his pocket, he pulled out a handful of change and held it up to the farmer. "I've got thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to take a look?"
"Sure," said the farmer. 

And with that he let out a whistle,"Here,Dolly!" he called.
Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran Dolly followed by four little balls of fur. The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence. His eyes danced with delight.

As the dogs made their way to the fence, the little boy noticed something else stirring inside the doghouse. Slowly another little ball appeared; this One noticeably smaller. Down the ramp it slid. Then in a somewhat awkward manner the little pup began hobbling toward the others, doing its best to catch up....
"I want that one," the little boy said, pointing to the runt. 
The farmer knelt down at the boy's side and said, "Son, you don't want that puppy. He will never be able to run and play with you like these other dogs would."
With that the little boy stepped back from the fence, reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his trousers. In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down both sides of his leg attaching itself To a specially made shoe. Looking back up at the farmer, he said, "You see sir, I don't run too well myself, and he will need Someone who understands."

The world is full of people who need someone who understands.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Urgent Home Reading Reports


I know it's been awhile since the last time this blog has been updated. Been swamped from vacation, work and work that's why I wasn't able to stop by. I would like to invite everyone to follow me on Twitter so you will have updates as to when new Home Reading Reports are available. Also, it would be lovely if you follow the author of this blog on Twitter and read her other blogs such as her happiness and celebrity news and photos blogs. For those who are planning to take the IELTS, you might find this post helpful. For home reading report requests, kindly leave your comments below :)